I’m not perfect.

I used to think I was pretty tough. I wasn’t afraid of anything; I was the ultimate tomboy. I was strong, and I could handle just about anything.

Yeah… about that. I sort of learned the hard way.

I’ve been a Christian ever since I was small. And when I looked for Christians who struggled with derealization, I didn’t really find anything on a Google search. Because Christians are perfect, and don’t struggle with things like that, right?

Wrong.

I’ve asked God why I was given this particular struggle. Why I have to fight with myself every single day. I long so desperately to be brave, to do incredible things, to have adventures and one day win over this forever. Maybe someday, I will.

But right now, it’s my cross to bear. Right now it’s making me stronger, building my trust for that day when God calls me to do even greater things. Right now I’m called to be faithful, to hang tight, to fight one battle at a time.

And you know what?

I’m ok with that.